he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
