I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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