The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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