dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
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