normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
