he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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