i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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