Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
