Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
