Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
