you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
