Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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