They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
