He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
