using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
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