just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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