her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
