that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
