none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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