dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I understand Curling. That high.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
