Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
