This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
