I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
