dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He shit in the fireplace
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
