he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
