I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
