I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
