"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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