Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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