he was CRYING into my vagina
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
