Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
