bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
