i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
