You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
