He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
