Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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