"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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