I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
