# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
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