i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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