I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
jump out the window naked night went bad
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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