So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
