there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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