in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
