ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
