3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
