He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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