its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
