white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
