we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
