Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
